Time To Decide
The hallmark, gushy, I love you forever, rose petals, pink lipstick, I need lingerie, expensive chocolate, pressured filled, relationship making (or breaking) month is here and whether you like it or not, every single corner you turn for the next two and a half weeks will remind you of relationships #VDay Instead of writing about how to make sure you slay Valentines day I wanted to take things in a different direction. With that being said, let me ask you this …
Why would you choose to be with someone who would not pick you time and time over again?
The ‘grey area’ in dating has taken our generation by storm and the forecast show no signs of clearing up. We, consciously, sit in lukewarm water trying tirelessly to find the perfect temperature to solidify the relationship. Vague feelings and obvious issues float around like bath bubbles popping without any warning. As women, we find it our duty to be able to fix any / all situations including wishy-washy relationships. After nights of tossing and turning the ‘perfect’ game plan is drafted and time of execution is upon us. Wear that. Text this. Say that. Call him then. Buy him this.
SPOILER ALERT: none of those tactics work.
It’s the 4th quarter and the clock is ticking. Your gut is begging for the game to end but your mind is too invested in this twisted game. After another blocked play frustration boils in your veins which, you guessed it, is the beginning to unnecessary drama and the infamous relationship game playing. Before even batting an eyelash you are now 10 feet under suffocating from the grey area. In between trying to catch a gulp of air you are so consumed with analyzing his every step that you forgot to actually interact with him.
Trust me, I am no dating expert, however; I am a believer to the core that if you find yourself starting a relationship in the grey area then the relationship is already lost.
Yes, I said it.
The relationship is lost.
I once read an amazing article that expressed a “f!ck yes / f@ck no” approach to relationships. The author of the article poses the below questions:
You wouldn’t buy a dog that bites you all the time. And you wouldn’t be friends with someone who regularly ditches you. You wouldn’t work a job that doesn’t pay you. Then why the hell are you trying to make a girlfriend out of a woman who doesn’t want to date you? Where’s your self-respect?
WOAH. Well, when you put it like that … * mind explodes * but on a serious note – think about it. Why would you continue to pursue a relationship with someone who doesn’t look at you and think HELL YES - THAT IS MY GIRL/GUY.
I won’t sit here pretending to type with clean hands. I have found myself in so many grey area “relationships” that it makes me sick to my stomach looking back on them. I was the queen of fixing and convincing (or so I thought.) At the end of the day the only thing I had left to show from those “men” were tear stains on my pillow case and wasted energy.
My previous relationship was a match made in no way heaven and after completely conforming to his life and settling for question marks as answers I vowed to myself that I would never again be strung along. Goodbye headaches, goodbye heart ache, goodbye disappoint and goodbye sleepless nights.
Hello self respect, I promise to never let you slip away again.
Remember this; if someone wants to be with you, they will be with you. Period end. No matter how “busy” they are or how “far” they live – they will find a way to make it work.
You are way too bad ass and too much of a knockout for someone who isn’t stoked on life to be with you.
With self worth and a kick in the ass,
Chels
article sited: http://markmanson.net/fuck-yes
