How To Know If You've Outgrown A Friendship

Friendship: one of the most precious gifts life can gives us. Having a counterpart that serves as your human diary, your partner in crime, your sister that you never had * sigh * pretty damn special, right? 

There are countless irreplaceable qualities about being a part of a certain friendship which can make it excruciating if the relationship takes an unexpected u-turn. The truth is, not all wonderful things are meant to last forever. The friend that was attached to your hip in 8th grade may now be a distance memory. The friend that you swore you couldn’t navigate life without is no longer present in your life. The friend that you never thought would make you cry disappointed you in more ways than one.

Stuff happens.
Things change.
You change.
They change.
You grow one way.
They grow another.

And so is life. But, how do you know if you’ve out grown a friendship? If a friendship is toxic, will your eyes be open enough to see it? Are there ways to deal with the grief of losing a friend?

Before your head spins off your shoulders know that there are “answers” to these question. Also know that I hold no degree in human relationships however I’ve experienced a thing or two in my rip 27 years of being on this planet so, as always, that is what my written words are based off of…. experience.

5 Signs You’ve Outgrown A Friendship And How To Deal:

You Don’t Feel Supported

The foundation of being a friend is to support each other, through thick and thin. A true friend should be standing by your side as champagne is popped to celebrate but should also be there when you need a shoulder to cry on. If you recognize that a friend is only there when things are full of sunshine and rainbows and goes MIA during the hardships, I would advise to separate yourself from that relationship since you deserve a friend who will stand by you no matter the circumstance.  

Linked By The Past

If the only common ground, you have within a friendship is the past it’s time to tie a pretty bow on that chapter of your life and move forward. This may come as a shock to some but friendships should be full of new experiences and not handcuff you to another point in time. Take this kind of friendship for what it’s worth and know that if you need an LOL moment about that time in college that you well, let’s not go there, then you have someone to call! Beyond that, accept that this is not the type of friendship that will bring fruitful current events to your life.

The Comparison Game

A friendship is meant to be played on even ground and should not be full of the “one upping game.” A friendship is supposed to be a safe place and not of judgements and criticism. The really cool thing about friendships is that you don’t have to be in one if you don’t want to be. Simple as that. If there is no sign of mutual respect within a friendship let alone any relationship for that matter, excuse yourself from the narrative.

Different Stages Of Life

Life is wild because none of us really know what will happen or where we will end up. You may be celebrating your second wedding anniversary and have a bun in the oven while your friend is swiping through dating apps. You could be suffocating in an office cubicle while your friend is out traveling the world.

A Slow Death

And then there are the friendships that slowly fade into the distance without a reason, without a fight, without a hardship, without a breakup, without …. anything. You feel nothing but the utmost love for this individual but the effort, from both ends, to keep the relationship afloat vanished and THAT IS OK. There is no need to feel ashamed for growing out of a friendship. Take those memories, tuck them away for a rainy day and know that she is only a phone call away.

Your friend,
Chels