How to Say No and Focus on Yourself
Do you ever look up at the clock and realize it's become nighttime, then look at the calendar and realize a whole week has gone by? And what’s more — do you ever realize days are going by, and you haven’t done one thing for yourself?
If you answered yes: you just might need to learn how to say no.
Between our family, friends, romantic partners, bosses and coworkers, requests come at us from all angles. It’s easy to get so tied up in other people’s needs that we neglect our own. And on top of that, there’s pressure to look agreeable and easygoing by saying “yes” to everything we possibly can.
But the truth is — saying yes all the time can be harmful! When we put everyone else’s needs before ourselves, we can start to feel physically and mentally exhausted. Sometimes, we can even start to feel burnt out, which can lead to insomnia, anxiety and in severe cases increased illness.
So how can we learn to say no?
Many times we fear that saying “no” will make us look rude, disagreeable or incompetent. In reality, however, this isn’t the case. Everyone needs to learn this crucial skill, and learn to rethink the stigma that comes with saying no. The first step is retraining our brains to recognize the word “no” as a valuable self care tool, and not a failure.
Here are some tips for how to say no and how to say it right:
Be firm: Don’t apologize for your needs or over explain your feelings. Take ownership of your needs and recognize that saying “no” is enough on its own.
Think it over: If someone asks you to go out but you aren’t sure, you can ask for a while to think. That way, you can avoid answering prematurely and take time to decide how you really feel.
Set boundaries: When you set boundaries for yourself, it becomes easier to navigate when and how to say no. For example, if you’ve decided you don’t want to drink alcohol for the first half of the week, saying no to a Tuesday night happy hour is a no-brainer.
Start advocating for yourself and your needs by saying no when you need or want to. Check out the infographic below for more tips and tricks on this crucial life skill.
